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Saturday, August 8, 2009

Woody Allen's Top 10 Funny Quotes

By Joanne Aika Castillo

If I had to choose one comedian who can surely crack me up, it would be Woody Allen. He is by far one of the most respected directors and screenwriters in Hollywood. He is known for his award winning films like Annie Hall, Manhattan, and The Purple Rose of Cairo. Allen's work is mostly inspired by his interests on literature, philosophy, psychoanalysis, sexuality, New York City, and the Jewish identity. Most of the time, his films always includes a Woody Allen persona: the neurotic writer living in New York City.

The reason I find Woody Allen's words as funny is because he is a good observer of societies' manners and perceptions. His humor can be best described as wry, sarcastic, intellectual, neurotic, and often times self-deprecating. I appreciate how he and his characters say the most ironic thing but still there's a certain truth we cannot deny, thus making us laugh instead. I am total fan of his humor.

Here, I have compiled ten funniest quotations by Woody Allen. These funny quotes were taken either from his interviews or from the characters of his movies. Most of these quotes deal with issues on sex, marriage, literature, death, relationships, and pop culture. These compilation of Woody Allen funny quotes will not only make you burst into laughter but will also encourage you to think about the themes involved.

Top 10 Funniest Woody Allen Quotes:

1. I took the speed reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. Its about Russia.

2. If my films don't show a profit, I know Im doing something right.

3. I sold the memoirs of my sex life to a publisher. They are going to make a board game out of it.

4. In Los Angeles they don't throw out their garbage away. They make it into television shows.

5. Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.

6. A fast word about oral contraception. I asked a girl to go to bed with me and she said no.

7. I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.

8. I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got a 100.

9. The only time my wife and I had a simultaneous orgasm was when the judge signed the divorce papers.

10. When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

For me, the funniest quotes are the top three on the list. All three quotes on literature, film, and sex exhibit that wry, ironic, and sarcastic sense of humor which defines Woody Allen. I find the speed reading quote funny because of the sheer mockery of pretentious reading. The second funny quote echoes the hilarious intellectual pride that great films don't appeal to the masses. Finally, the third funny quote is a classic self-deprecating joke which Woody often associates with himself, that of an unattractive, nerdy, Jewish New Yorker. Ultimately, it just shows that Woody Allen's funny quotes affirm how humor is indeed a universal language.

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